EMPATHY When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet, it we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience"Awareness – pure Knowing – is not just the witness of experience. It is its substance, its very nature.". No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understand- ing. It you understand, and you show that you under- stand, you can love"Love is the natural condition of all experience before thought has divided it into a multiplicity and diversity of objects, selves and others"... (more), and the situation will change.